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"Guide me, oh, thou Great Jehovah,
Pilgrim through
a barren land!
I am weak, but thou art mighty,
Lead me with thy powerful
hand."
Never in his life had Percy so realized his own finiteness,
never had he so reverenced the Supreme Majesty of the Creator, as while
he listened to that voice, singing the familiar words with indescribable
pathos and passion.
Percy's fearless criticisms of creeds and dogmas had won
for him, among people of illiberal thought, the undeserved reputation of
an atheist.
The world is full of good-hearted, but short-sighted people,
who brand any man as an infidel or lunatic, whose ideas of divine worship
differ from their own.
Percy's whole nature was deeply reverential; but his conceptions
of religion were too high and broad for the ordinary mind, accustomed to
the well-worn ruts of thought to understand or even grasp. In his early
boyhood, he had believed in everything; church, woman, home, happiness.
But one woman had wrecked him in mid-ocean; and he had thrown overboard
all his old faiths in things human and divine, barely saving his life and
reason.
Then, as time passed on, and his hurts healed, his inborn
reverence for Something over and beyond himself returned. His belief
in a future life was as fixed and firm as it was vague and undefined. But
oftentimes he felt conscious of the near presence of his mother--the mother
who had died when he was a youth and most needed her. And he knew that
she lived, and loved him, and watched over him. It was her occasional presence,
which convinced him, beyond the possibility of doubt, that death was only
the gateway to a new life.
Always, when he was untrue to himself or his principles,
her spirit fled away from him, and again she came so near, he could almost
hear the rustle of her wings.
It was long months now, since she had come to him. Never
in his dreams, never in his waking hours; and the sense of loneliness and
longing was sometimes overwhelming.
But now, while he listened to that unseen singer's voice,
his mother came back to him; there, in the golden haze of that Indian-summer
morning, he felt as conscious of her near presence as if his eyes beheld
her.
"Bread of heaven, Bread of heaven,
Feed me till
I want no more,"
sang the voice, and it seemed to ring up to the very courts of heaven
with a great cry of hunger and longing.
Never had Percy so felt the craving in his own soul for
heavenly manna, and for something beyond and greater than himself on which
to lean, as at this moment.
It seemed to him, that he could not rest until he had
looked upon the face of the singer.
He entered the church, and sat down in an unoccupied pew
near the door.
The singing had ceased, and from his position the choir
was entirely hidden from view by a curtain.
Percy sat through the long and tedious sermon, and listened
with impatience to the dreary, uncomforting discourse.
"No wonder," thought he, "that the singer put so much
pleading into her cry for 'Bread of heaven,' if she derives her spiritual
sustenance from the droppings of this sanctuary. The weary soul would faint
by the wayside, who depended upon such food."
The sermon seemed interminable, but it ended at last,
to the gratification of the tired congregation. Again Percy heard that
voice of heavenly beauty, soaring up to the very Throne in song; but, strive
as he might, he could catch no glimpse of the singer.
He left the church, soothed, uplifted, but disappointed.
As he sat in his room at the hotel, late in the afternoon,
writing letters, Mr. Griffith called.
"I saw you at church this morning,'' he said, "and my
wife sent me around to bring you home to tea. She thought it might be dull
for you here at the hotel, and though we are plain folks, we shall he glad
to have you come and take common fare with us."
"You are very kind," Percy answered, but I ought to finish
these letters"--
"Never mind the letters," insisted Mr. Griffith. "My wife
will feel hurt if you don't come; and we can promise you some good music,
at least. Maybe you noticed our soprano singer in the choir this morning.
She boards with us, and we think she's about as good as any of your city
singers. There is no service to-night at the church, and when there is
not, she always sings for us at home. People fairly hang on the gates to
listen. I hope you'll come."
"Thank you!" said Percy, with alacrity, rising and pushing
aside his writing materials. "I will."
When he stood face to face with Helena Maxon--for it was
our old friend, whom we greet again after more than five years--Percy felt
a slight disappointment. It had seemed to him, that such a voice must belong
to a creature as fair as the morning--an ethereal being, all gold and blue
and white, like Aurora herself.
Instead, he saw a shapely form, inclined to be voluptuous
in its curves, and a face absolutely without tints; a dusky head, and sombre
eyes, and a skin like the brown side of a peach, and perfectly devoid of
color, save in the full red lips of the rather large mouth.
"Her face is too round for beauty," he said, in his swift
mental analysis, "and her mouth and nose are not classic. But what exquisite
care she bestows upon her person; what perfectly-kept hands and teeth and
hair! She radiates purity and cleanliness like a water-lily. And where
did she learn her matchless charm and manner?"
As the conversation progressed, Percy's wonder grew. Miss
Maxon's ready flow of words, her simple dignity and her animation, rendered
her positively charming. He soon forgot her absence of tints; for as she
talked, the light of her spirit seemed to shine through and brighten her
face like sunlight shining through an autumn leaf. And the strange peculiarity
of her eyes presently attracted him, and fascinated him with their mesmeric
spell. So soon as Helena became interested in any subject on which she
conversed, or in her music, or in the personality of her listeners, a delicate
film, which had almost the appearance of smoke seen rising over the face
of the heavens at night, completely enveloped her dark eyes. It seemed
to shut out all material objects from her vision as if her soul drew a
curtain before her sight, that it might better contemplate the wonders
visible only to spiritual eyes. Yet through this curtain you felt conscious
that her soul looked into yours.
It is a peculiarity seen only in the eyes of those possessed
of clairvoyant powers; and it riveted Percy's gaze upon Helena's face,
and fascinated him as no mere physical beauty had ever fascinated him.
By and by she sang, and again Percy felt himself lifted
up into a new, rarified atmosphere, while he listened.
It was as if his soul projected itself out of his body,
and floated up on the waves of her voice close to the spirit world.
Percy never knew quite how the conversation began : but
after she had resumed her seat, he suddenly found himself telling her how
peculiarly her singing had affected him.
"No doubt you will think me a sort of a lunatic!" he said.
"But while you sang this morning, it seemed to me that my mother, who has
been dead since my early manhood, came near to me. The impression lasted
throughout the day : and it has brought me an inexpressible happiness."
A sudden light transfigured Helena's face, rendering it
absolutely beautiful. She leaned slightly forward, with her hands clasped
before her.
"Then you are susceptible to these impressions?" she said,
' I am always pleased and interested in meeting any one who is. There are
so few people in the world who realize how thin the veil is which divides
us from our dear ones. Why, Mr. Durand, often when I am singing, I not
only feel, I know that my father and my mother are close beside
me, enveloping me with their love and sympathy. And then I sing, as I never
sing at other times. The exhilaration of their presence fills me with a
strength and ecstacy that is indescribable. I feel almost more than human."
She ceased speaking suddenly, and her face was luminous
with a divine light. A subtle warmth and fragrance seemed to emanate from
her; Percy felt thrilled and magnetized, with an influence as mysterious
as it was powerful.
"Then your parents are not living?" he said, gently.
"Not here," she answered, with a sad smile. "They died
in one year. My father was the victim of a violent fever which devastated
our town : my mother grieved herself into the grave a few months later.
It had been a perfect union; they were mental comrades, spiritual affinities,
physical mates. They could not exist apart. It was better that she joined
him so soon."
"It left you very much alone?" Percy spoke softly, scarcely
knowing what to say in presence of such a bereavement.
"Yes, and no," she answered. "If I had believed they were
lying in the earth waiting the Judgment Day, scores, thousands or millions
of years hence, I should have been crazed with my desolation. But my faith
was so comforting to me, however unorthodox, that I have found strength
and happiness in it."
"Tell me what it is?" urged Percy, earnestly, almost eagerly.
"These subjects interest and fascinate me. Long ago, my intellect rejected
old dogmas. Yet I find it difficult to know what to believe. The worn out
creeds insult my intelligence. The liberal teachers of the day shock me
with their irreverence, and leave my soul hungry : and in Spiritualism
I find so much trickery, fraud, and immorality, mixed up with a few mysterious
and unsatisfactory truths, that I am again in despair."
"But you must not be in despair," Helena said, with one
of her beautiful smiles. "You have not looked at Spiritualism from the
right standpoint. So long as you seek its truths through professional mediums,
you will be dissatisfied and confused. "
"Then you think they are all humbugs?"
"Certainly not :" Helena replied, with emphasis. "There
are people endowed with the gift of divination, beyond doubt. There are
peculiarly organized beings who can read the future and the past--beings
who see through and beyond this thin veil of mortality, into the spiritual
realms which lie very close to us. But we must not look to those people
for our enlightenment upon this subject. If we do, we soon lose our individuality;
we grow dependent and unpractical and visionary. God placed us here to
carve out our own destinies--to work and wait for events, not to tear aside
the curtain and read the cypher which is understood by a few."
"But how, then, can I obtain the benefits you mention
from this belief ?" questioned Percy.
"You must look to the development of your own spiritual
nature, and to the consequent crucifying of your baser self, in order to
obtain the comfort and benefit of this belief. In this you will have the
help of your departed friends."
"You think they retain their interest in and love for
us, the same there as here?"
"Oh, yes, assuredly. Yet often our sorrows seem,
to their enlarged vision, as the sorrows of children over broken toys seem
to us; yet they strive to comfort us."
"If that is true," interposed Percy, "why was it, that
after my mother died, and I used to lie awake at night, and plead with
Heaven to let me feel her touch, or see her face, if only for a second,
why did she not come to me?"
"Because," Helena answered gently, "there are restrictions
upon their liberty, there are limits to their powers, even as there are
to our own. They live higher, freer, more exalted lives, but they are not
gods. I remember when I was first sent from home to boarding-school, how
bitter was my homesickness and sorrow. I used to write tear-blotted letters
to my mother, begging her to corne to me. She did not come; other and more
important duties detained her at home. She knew it was better for me to
remain and overcome my loneliness. So your mother in the spirit world may
have been detained by the wonderful tasks given her to do. Yet on other
occasions she no doubt comes to you, as she came this morning. I think
we can not expect frequent companionship from these pure spirits, how ever,
unless we cultivate the better part of our natures. They will not linger
near us if we are wholly earthly in our aims and ambitions, and immoral
in our lives."
"I believe that--I am certain of it in my own experience,"
Percy said, in a low voice. "Whenever I violate a principle, my mother
flies from me as in fear. She has been absent many months, Miss Maxon,
until your voice wooed her back."
"Therein lies the great religious lesson in this belief
;" continued Helena. "I find that even my petty tempers, my uncharitable
feelings, or thoughtless criticisms of other people, frighten away this
holy company. I have to set a constant watch upon my mind and heart, to
let no evil or selfish thought enter, if I would retain their helpful and
loving influences. It is no easy task, Mr. Durand. It is constant warfare,
between the material and the spiritual nature. But the results are glorious.
Often when I have put to rout evil feelings, and selfish thoughts, back
to my soul, like a flock of white doves, the spirits of comforting friends
fly, lifting me into an atmosphere so heavenly and beautiful, that I seem
scarcely to belong to earth. Oh surely, God could not give better employment
to his angels, than to let them sometimes comfort us, like this. Surely,
there is nothing irreverent or wrong in this belief.''
''No, it is the sweetest of all beliefs," Percy answered.
"It robs death of all its horrors, and it is a belief which is gaining
ground. Do you not think so?"
"Yes, indeed, with the more intellectual classes. There
was a time, when it was considered an evidence of ignorance to profess
any faith in spirit aid. Now it is considered an evidence of ignorance
to declare positively that there is nothing in it. But sensible believers
do not waste their time in seeking after crude miracles--miracles which
can help no human soul, and only serve to confuse and puzzle the intellect.
They turn their attention rather to the development of their own higher
natures, which enables them to understand and enjoy these beautiful truths."
"Do you believe that the spirits of our dear ones ever
reveal themselves to us?" asked Percy, growing more and more interested.
"Have you ever been blessed by such a vision?"
"Never, though I have longed for it. Yet I believe others
have been so blessed. You know the Bible overflows with such occurrences.
We have, there, the inspired record of the re-appearance upon earth after
death--of Samuel, Moses, Elijah, and Christ himself. If we believe the
Bible, we must believe these things occurred. And I think God loves his
people now as dearly as He loved them then. But I have no belief in, and
no patience with, the miserable artifice and wicked pretense of the so-called
materializing mediums. I do not believe the lovely spirit of my dear mother
could be shown to me through any cabinet--like a jack-in-a-box. The idea
that the spirits of the intellectual dead have nothing better to do than
move furniture or rap on ceilings and floors, is disgusting and nonsensical
in my view. I am a good deal of a Sweden-borgian : I think with him, that
the body--the eye--is merely a telescope, through which the soul gazes.
What the soul sees, and how far it sees, depends upon many conditions,
just as a clear or a murky atmosphere, and the mechanism of his instrument,
influences the observations of the astronomer. When the soul, and the body,
and the spiritual atmosphere are all in perfect condition, I believe we
can see the spirit forms about us. You know St. Paul says : 'Run your race
in patience, for you are surrounded by a cloud of witnesses.' But
in our gross material lives, these conditions seldom occur. As for myself,
I am satisfied with the comfort and strength I receive through unseen presences.
I do not ask, or seek anything more."
A spiteful-voiced clock on the mantel counted off eleven
strokes.
Percy arose in sudden confusion.
"How inexcusably late I have remained," he said, " how
can I ever obtain pardon--"
"No excuse is necessary!" interposed Mrs. Griffith. "We
all thank you for causing Miss Maxon to talk so freely. It is seldom she
does, and we love to hear her conversation as well as her singing.
Be sure and come again, Mr. Durand."
As he walked back to his hotel, in upon his strangely
enlarged and enlightened vision, a sudden thought of Dolores darted. He
stopped in the street and put his hand to his brow. "My God I" he cried,
"how can I go back to her?"
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