As I go and shop, sir!
If a car I stop, sir!
    Where you chance to sit,
And you want to read, sir!
Never mind or heed, sir!
    I'll not care a bit.

For it's now æsthetic
To be quite athletic.
    That's our fad, you know
I can hold the strap, sir!
And keep off your lap, sir!
    As we jolting go.

If you read on blindly,
I shall take it kindly,
    All the car's not mine.
But, if you sit and stare, sir!
At my eyes and hair, sir!
    I must draw the line.

If the stare is meant, sir!
For a compliment, sir!
    As we jog through town,
Allow me to suggest, sir!
A woman oft looks best, sir!
    When she's sitting down.